Hola eses! Coming at you from the ghettos of Chinatown, USA, this is Nacho’s “Not-yo’-motha’s Storytime”. I know you’re wondering what a strapping young Mexican hombre like myself is doing in Chinatown, but all I can tell you my friends is that you really need to find yourself an Asian puta sometime before you become one of the muertos.
So, I’ve been asked to write an article about this, ah, tournament thing that is supposed to be happening this weekend in the cow town. It was my pleasure to do the research into this, considering my alternatives included eating extra Ramen noodles or bumming quarters from the rich people downtown so that I could buy some cheap Mexican cigars. After extensive time and effort, my conclusion is that there are probably no women in the tournament and so it will suck even worse than that whore did last night. I mean…it should be very exciting, unlike last…ah you get the picture muchchos.
I don’t know who is doing this wiffleball thing yet so I am not going to waste my time with a detailed preview. That Italian looking kid seems to hit the ball very very hard lately (perhaps he has lots of practice hitting the balls lately?) so his team will probably do well, and no one can seem to get that monkey-armed Deptula guy out. I bet that if they do the team thing they will destroy everyone even more than I have destroyed my own life (Aye Dios! - I am doing the writing thing for a wiffleball league). They’re also talking about the monkey-boy’s chicken-legged brother who may or may not be returning from the land where the air is dirty and the Chinatown district is even dirtier, but the gossip from those who saw him play at UConn is that he is over-the-hill now and will suck again this weekend.
The Nacho Man says he could give a Mexico City rat’s ass about who wins the tournament, just as long as Alicia Meyer is there (you fine mexicana you). I will do the review thing after it is all over, so until then – adios!!
Nacho
A little self portrait for all the ladies out there.
P.S.
You can reach me at 872-9725 if you are interested in some heterosexual or homosexual lovin'